WARNING: The entry you are about to read is based on true events. Viewer discretion is advised.
Well my favorite sister in the whole world came to visit me tonight, so we decided to do lots of fun things.
We took Bernie for a ride to Kroger. He likes to stink up the empty car and see how fast he can make himself pass out. And then when he's passed out he has dreams where he's chasing a cheeta and he's running really fast, so he kicks his legs and grunts loudly. If only he could really run that fast.
We ate cornbread hotcakes for dinner and then we did Pilates while Bernie cleansed our faces by a two step process: 1) Lick entire face sopping wet. 2) Sit on face until the arm that belongs to the body that face is on pets you in return for cleaning the face.
One of Bernie's favorite pastimes is to hold his urine in for as long as possible. This way, when he has to be let out, he can go for a very long, as if it were the extended version of a DVD. Then when people walk by they are very impressed by how long he can urinate, and it falsely convinces them that they have to urinate also.
Schmaka rooooshey pooshma monpmomped.
Poopface. | 
